Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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