His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
