her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
