Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
