Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well I just put wine in my tea
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
