Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
