I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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