i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
