I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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