At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
