I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
