i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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