just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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