Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize