I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize