new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize