Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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