If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
