You don't have asthma, your pregnant
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
