Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
