He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
