Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize