My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
