But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
