your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I supernannyed him into submission
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
