he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
