I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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