Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
