They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
