so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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