Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
