just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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