Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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