Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
