i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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