They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
