Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
