Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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