Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
