we made out on top of his cat.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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