It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
