I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
