: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize