I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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