I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
