Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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