Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
