If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm passing your future prison.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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