Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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