I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
