I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
