pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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