you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
