the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
