Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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