There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
