This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
