it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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