ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
