I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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